i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
