In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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