dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
