no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
