Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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