The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize