he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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