im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
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sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
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You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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