...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize