i don't like sucking hair
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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