similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize