Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
