but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
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Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
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