Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
