Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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