If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
