Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
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Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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