It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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