My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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