and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
