Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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