He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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