clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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