do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize