I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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