i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
