I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
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The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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