hell yes lets make some ravioli
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
