Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
