I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
