No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
