real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
