carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What did we do last night that was yellow?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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