why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
