Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
