pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
