Do vagina's smell?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
