she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I will be naked everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize