I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
