seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
