The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
