i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
