I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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