currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize