pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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