I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize