I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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