4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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