He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
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Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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