Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
