You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
