I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize