dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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