Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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