I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
