Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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