God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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