I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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