I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
