Don't you send me to vm
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
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the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
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I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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